parenting fails, outfit wins & other things i'm trying
5-4-3-2-1: outfits, obsessions, & little wins - all served with a side of type-b overwhelm.
Read this if you’ve had a week
If not, skip ahead to the outfits & fun stuff!
The past week was another whirlwind. Highs, lows, and yet somehow I keep circling back to this same feeling of overwhelm every other week in these newsletters.
Quite a wild week, in fact, that I almost didn’t hit publish this week. I missed important dates, mixed up commitments (letting a lot of people down), and showed up to a kid’s birthday party only to find dark windows and realize we were at the wrong place. Cue a 30-minute drive to the right one. My daughter and I just sat in the car, had a moment, and had BIG feelings, lol. The feeling of mental overload is real.
After that, I spent the past few days reflecting (and stress-cleaning every cabinet, closet, and drawer in sight). I even bought a refrigerator calendar, a bold move for someone who usually relies on a faulty memory and vibes.
But it got me thinking: how is anyone actually supposed to keep up in this modern world? A world where everyone and everything has constant access to you. All. Day. Long. Constantly pulling your attention in different directions. There are 1,206 tabs open metaphorically — and if you look at my browser, literally.
Things I’m *Trying* Lately
So here’s what your resident Type-B bestie is trying to work on lately, small things that I’m hoping will help.
Put things away immediately. WHERE THEY BELONG. You will not do it later.
Your brain is not a high-speed computing device1. You will NOT remember whatever it is you said you’d remember. It’s AOL dial-up with cobwebs.
Tackle one small project at a time. Overwhelm often comes from feeling like you need to do everything at once. As per my Mom’s advice, I’m trying to break down large tasks into smaller ones.
Stay in your lane. Your journey is yours. Just because someone else can handle QRSTUVWXYZ doesn’t mean you have the same bandwidth.
Use the damn calendar. I got this fancy Amazon calendar for my refrigerator and fingers crossed I can maintain this habit. Bonus: my kids perseverate on it & now I get a running commentary on every appointment in the foreseeable future.
Shame is arresting, self compassion is motivating. Sometimes you can’t do it all—or even anything—because you’re carrying a heavy mental or emotional load that day. Humans make mistakes. I made a few mistakes last week, they felt really bad, & now I need to focus on how I can grow and improve. I was listening to this podcast and the speaker KC Davis said, “Shame is arresting, self compassion is motivating.”
Ask for help or simply accept help. My Dad took my kiddos for two hours so my Mom and I could clean the house together. Sometimes my kids (God bless them) ask me, “Mom, is it time to leave for the game?” I used to spiral in shame that they were “parenting” me. Now I am trying to see it as them helping lighten the load.
Set a timer. I’m starting small. A 5–10 minute timer to clean or cross something off my list actually feels good.
Outsource. We’ve embraced chores in our house recently. There’s nothing less efficient yet more adorable than my daughter wiping down the dining table each night. TEAMWORK!
Push back against shame when you don’t meet an expectation. Society holds mothers (and all caregivers, really) to completely unachievable standards. Sometimes I spiral in guilt over arbitrary demands, but I’m learning & TRYING to push back.
These are just a few of the things I’ve been trying lately… emphasis on trying (!!!). I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. It always feels a little embarrassing being a Type-B Mom in what feels like—and probably isn’t—a Type-A world. I like to describe myself as a perfect combination of Mila Kunis in Bad Moms and Annie Walker in Bridesmaids.
What about you? How does your family stay organized amid the madness? I’d love to hear what works. SOS, I’m open to all and any suggestions2.
That’s why I love this NO HEAVY LIFTING REQUIRED newsletter series. It’s perfect for me (the writer) when my brain is at capacity, and it’s quick and snappy for you (the reader) who might also only have the bandwidth for bite-sized content right now. Win-win!
Here are five easy outfits I wore last week to work and on one day off.
I waited so patiently for this dress to finally go on sale in black. I paired it with my favorite mesh flats and tossed on the red sweater!
I wanted to title this photo, “Abigail’s First Day of School.” Let me explain. This is the Abigail top by DÔEN—the shirt that brought me and Libby McCurrach together as pals. She assured me I wouldn’t regret this investment, and honestly, she did not lead me astray.
When Libby and I refer to this shirt we always call her by her proper name, Abigail. See our very important texting evidence below.
Let’s be real—it’s never too much to wear the most beautiful top in the world, Abigail. I love that it’s a piece you can wear through all four seasons.
I showed up to work today only to find out it was staff picture day—something I should have known, considering multiple emails were sent reminding me well in advance. But, in true Traci fashion, I was still completely surprised. I hadn’t planned on taking my yearbook photo in a sweater vest/tee combo, but here we are.
I gave the photographer my full consent to airbrush me aggressively before publication. He giggled.
This look was completely inspired by Alex DiCapo Patel. I was scrolling Substack when this picture popped up, and it was an immediate screenshot moment. I took the time to read her entire post and was obsessed with all the looks. I knew I already had the pieces in my arsenal, and I think I did a pretty good job recreating it!
I’m clearly obsessed with polos right now. A close second hyperfixation: dark straight-leg denim. File it under the many things I tend to obsess over (also on the list: sourdough bread, the WNBA playoffs, The Life of a Showgirl, and lurking in the comments section of my local town Dad/Mom Facebook group disagreements).
We had off this past Thursday for the holiday, which meant I finally had a day to prioritize comfort over professional. I love these shorts—the key for me is a 5” inseam. I like to look sporty but still covered (if that makes sense).
Here are some recent things that I am loving right now…
BURGUNDY SWEATER: 100% cotton and perfectly oversized. So many possibilities from layering to wearing. Spotted on Brittany Healy & knew it was absolute GOLD.
DENIM SHIRT: It may not be completely necessary, but holy cow it’s versatility is truly unmatched in my coset. I wore it to the Tyler Childers concert on Monday and felt very Yellowstone Ranch.
CAPRI BLUE PUMPKIN DULCE DIFFUSER: I love all things pumpkin. I’m not afraid to admit it. This little diffuser packs quite a punch. I haven’t put up a single fall decoration yet, and am currently struggling to stay above water. At least my house smells like fall!
PAJAMA PANTS: I decided it was time to start wearing adult-like pajamas instead of just sleeping in random athleisure. No one told me I needed to do this—except myself.
Here are three looks I’ve made with things I own in MY closet on Indyx that I am excited to wear in my near future!
Collective Effervescence- A few months ago, I read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. One of the things he discusses is the research on happiness and shared experiences. My husband and I recently went to see Tyler Childers live, and I started thinking about how every time we leave a concert, I feel this huge dopamine rush of joy. I remembered Haidt describing “collective effervescence,” the feeling of joy and connection that comes from singing together in unison at a concert, creating a sense of being part of something bigger.
Universal Sound - Tyler Childers- This is one of my all-time favorite songs he sings. The song reminds us to celebrate the experience of being alive, to be fully present in life, and to remember that we are all part of something bigger.
Here’s the full song if you want to give it a listen:
There’s nothing that brings me more joy than picking fresh fruit. Apple picking plus a tall husband are truly the best combination— he can grab all the good ones most people can’t reach (without that wild stick-like contraption).
I now have at least 2,126 apples, and other than eating them, I’m not quite sure what to do with them. What can I make that requires almost no effort? WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS? Imagine it’s a toddler baking for the first time. Hold my hand and guide me through this.
That’s a wrap on this week! As always, THANK YOU 💗 from the bottom of my heart for being here & taking the time to read my work.
May your tabs be few, your espresso strong, and your apples actually used,
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I stole the term “a high-speed computing device” from my Dad - that is what he refers to his brain as, lol.
Is it true? Do I need 182 baskets around my house to truly be an organized human being? Tricia Torley and I need data on this.
1. I got the time wrong for my 12 YO’s dr appointment last Monday, I cried in the car with him, then took him back to school.
2. Perseverate is a very good word.
3. I do, in fact, have 20 something baskets in my house, and I can say with all certainty, it doesn’t help.
Ok first I feel like I’m also always starting newsletters saying “what a week!” lol so you are not alone! These “modern” lives we lead are exhausting, and I’m saying that pre kids. Truly in awe of all the moms in my life! Love these tips 🤎
& love that this look resonated with you!!! My vest obsession is taking over, so glad I’m not alone. Thank you for the love & shout out 🥰