“I also feel secondhand rejection sensitivity, or rejection by proxy, with my own kids.” I feel this so hard and so often. I have so much regret and sympathy for my younger self, if only I’d had the diagnosis and correct meds then!! And the nightmares about college!! I still dream about having to call my mom and tell her I wasn’t graduating. Thank you for sharing and making me feel so seen (as you always do).
Fanny, I know you get this on such a deep level. The college nightmares are SO REAL. I look back often and think, “If I had only known…” Thank you for sharing this with me. Hand-in-hand, we’ve got this, my friend!
I can't tell you how much I related to the masking at work, and then being completely burned out at home. I know this was probably a tough one to publish, but gosh you've done such a beautiful thing. So glad to know you here.
This means so much to me. 🥹 The work/home burnout piece is something I think so many of us carry (esp educators!!!). It's exhausting holding it all together and feeling like you have little left for the people you love the most. So glad to know you here too. xx
Oh amiga! This was such an honest and beautiful letter, one to come back to every time those thoughts creep in. What you have built in this life is huge, and you were the creator. No one came to help you; you did it all by yourself. This platform, you built it on your own. People love you because through this very digital wall you come through so authentic and so human. You take the time to read every single post, share and be there for all of us. I suffer from the same things as you, but you literally gave it a name, “rejection sensitive." And now I'm going to work on it with my future therapist, ha! I just want you to know that in the 7 months I've been here and interacted with you, I feel like we've been friends forever, and the funny part is we have never even seen each other. This is the magic of writing, and you've made us all part of your world and your magic. Keep shining, keep being you. You are perfect just as you are, don't ever doubt that! Besos amiga ❤️
Thank you for this beautiful message. Isn't the "we've never seen each other" so cool -- it shows the magic of writing. You show up as yourself and suddently you don't feel so alone. The RSD is no joke, always here for you if you need. Thank you for being such a kind and supportive part of this community! SS is better with you in it. xx
Oh Traci, I cried reading this and can relate to so much of it. Thank you for sharing this in such a beautiful way.
I have not received a formal diagnosis (my therapist and family feels there’s no doubt about it but the system here works differently so its difficult as an adult to get assessed) but I’ve struggled so much in my life with many of the similar things you mention (also a Div I athlete). What resonated most is how hard you are on yourself. I just want to say I see you and feel you. Please give yourself a big hug today and tomorrow and the day after. You deserve so much more kindness than your inner voice is giving you.
I am so glad it resonated. I went through a whole ping-pong of “do I?” “don’t I?” and finally said, “Just hit publish. Someone needs to hear your story.” Thank you for making it worth it! I’m sending you a DM and a hug right back. We have a lot to unpack. ❤️ Appreciate you so much.
I grew up with ADHD/dyslexia, unfortunately I grew up in an abusive toxic household. My family would call me dumb and emotional.
So, I actually would believe them and I would further dumb myself. I wouldn't question what was "wrong" with me for years. I blocked it out and I would wonder, why am I getting extra help in class? am I dumb like they say? Why couldn't I turn in my homework in time?! or pay attention?!
It took me until I was 36 to put all the pieces together. I was so mad! I was like that's it?
It's been a learning curve and I still have so many questions. I also need to be gentle with myself and focus on my strengths.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this. I love you and I wish I could give you a big hug!
Lovey! Thank you for sharing this with me. My heart is breaking. I am so glad you're learning to give yourself grace you deserved all along. I'm trying to get there right with you! You are INCREDIBLE, biggest hugs back, xx!
this was so beautifully written! i love the honesty. i’m in awe of everything you do. truly! your support of everyone on this platform is jaw dropping. you lift women up so gracefully, and i hope you see yourself how i see you! 💘
I am so, so glad you wrote this. I got my adhd diagnosis relatively late in life but SO much of what you’ve shared here sounds like it could have come directly from my life. There is something much power in not feeling alone.
You know I feel/hear/sense all of this. I am constantly exhausted by me, my thoughts, my piles. My notebooks (IYKYK). Failure to complete.
My husband says my calendar looks like a "serial killer's calendar"--all that mayhem and slashing.
I feel a bit of pain when I watch home videos of myself when I was young (bouncing and bobbing and never stopping). I feel the people pleasing to NO END, which my recent 12 day trip to see my extended family in California was as mentally taxing as any trip I've taken.
You're doing the work way earlier than I did (better late than never). I've been in therapy as well! We've been working on the (thoughtless) speed at which I do some things. An example: texting. I text faster than my brain (or the other way around). I have embarrassed myself so. many. times. Working on Slow. Is. Fast.
Nina! You always make me smile, giggle and feel so seen. The home videos part hit me. I think that’s one of the hardest things about finally understanding ADHD as an adult - looking back at your younger self and realizing, “Oh… she wasn’t too much. She was trying SO hard.” And the people pleasing - YES. But damn you're right -- we provide the wildly creative fun around here! xx
You are such a light and encouragement to everyone you interact with in this platform so I can only imagine what it feels like to have you in real in person life 🤍 Sending so much love and prayers to you, thank you for being honest 🫶🏻
I wish I could give you an enormous hug. I think you're an absolute champion, and your gracious, uplifting vibe has made my time here so much more fun (and I know that's true of SO many other people).
I had goosebumps reading this. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. So much resonated, and I wonder- would you share the steps you took to get the diagnosis? Fellow teacher and parent here really struggling with executive functioning.
Therese! You KNOW that clarinet has seen some things. 😂 Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. An OG fan since day one! I'm so glad it helped. ❤️
Traci, this had me in tears. It's so hard when we know these things (re: self acceptance and self compassion) intellectually but can't *feel* them to make them true inside ourselves. Sending you so much love <3
“I also feel secondhand rejection sensitivity, or rejection by proxy, with my own kids.” I feel this so hard and so often. I have so much regret and sympathy for my younger self, if only I’d had the diagnosis and correct meds then!! And the nightmares about college!! I still dream about having to call my mom and tell her I wasn’t graduating. Thank you for sharing and making me feel so seen (as you always do).
Fanny, I know you get this on such a deep level. The college nightmares are SO REAL. I look back often and think, “If I had only known…” Thank you for sharing this with me. Hand-in-hand, we’ve got this, my friend!
I can't tell you how much I related to the masking at work, and then being completely burned out at home. I know this was probably a tough one to publish, but gosh you've done such a beautiful thing. So glad to know you here.
This means so much to me. 🥹 The work/home burnout piece is something I think so many of us carry (esp educators!!!). It's exhausting holding it all together and feeling like you have little left for the people you love the most. So glad to know you here too. xx
Oh amiga! This was such an honest and beautiful letter, one to come back to every time those thoughts creep in. What you have built in this life is huge, and you were the creator. No one came to help you; you did it all by yourself. This platform, you built it on your own. People love you because through this very digital wall you come through so authentic and so human. You take the time to read every single post, share and be there for all of us. I suffer from the same things as you, but you literally gave it a name, “rejection sensitive." And now I'm going to work on it with my future therapist, ha! I just want you to know that in the 7 months I've been here and interacted with you, I feel like we've been friends forever, and the funny part is we have never even seen each other. This is the magic of writing, and you've made us all part of your world and your magic. Keep shining, keep being you. You are perfect just as you are, don't ever doubt that! Besos amiga ❤️
Thank you for this beautiful message. Isn't the "we've never seen each other" so cool -- it shows the magic of writing. You show up as yourself and suddently you don't feel so alone. The RSD is no joke, always here for you if you need. Thank you for being such a kind and supportive part of this community! SS is better with you in it. xx
🥹😘❤️
Oh Traci, I cried reading this and can relate to so much of it. Thank you for sharing this in such a beautiful way.
I have not received a formal diagnosis (my therapist and family feels there’s no doubt about it but the system here works differently so its difficult as an adult to get assessed) but I’ve struggled so much in my life with many of the similar things you mention (also a Div I athlete). What resonated most is how hard you are on yourself. I just want to say I see you and feel you. Please give yourself a big hug today and tomorrow and the day after. You deserve so much more kindness than your inner voice is giving you.
Always here if you want to chat or vent!
I am so glad it resonated. I went through a whole ping-pong of “do I?” “don’t I?” and finally said, “Just hit publish. Someone needs to hear your story.” Thank you for making it worth it! I’m sending you a DM and a hug right back. We have a lot to unpack. ❤️ Appreciate you so much.
Antonia, im sorry you are going through this but im hoping you’ll get some answers soon! ❤️
TRACI!! you're going to make me cry!
I grew up with ADHD/dyslexia, unfortunately I grew up in an abusive toxic household. My family would call me dumb and emotional.
So, I actually would believe them and I would further dumb myself. I wouldn't question what was "wrong" with me for years. I blocked it out and I would wonder, why am I getting extra help in class? am I dumb like they say? Why couldn't I turn in my homework in time?! or pay attention?!
It took me until I was 36 to put all the pieces together. I was so mad! I was like that's it?
It's been a learning curve and I still have so many questions. I also need to be gentle with myself and focus on my strengths.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this. I love you and I wish I could give you a big hug!
p.s. You're doing an amazing job.
Lovey! Thank you for sharing this with me. My heart is breaking. I am so glad you're learning to give yourself grace you deserved all along. I'm trying to get there right with you! You are INCREDIBLE, biggest hugs back, xx!
Lovey, you are an amazing and talented person too! What you have accomplished it’s because of how smart and creative you are! ❤️
thank you so much 🥺❤
😘
this was so beautifully written! i love the honesty. i’m in awe of everything you do. truly! your support of everyone on this platform is jaw dropping. you lift women up so gracefully, and i hope you see yourself how i see you! 💘
This made me tear up. 🥹 Thank you so much for reading it and for such a kind message.
I am so, so glad you wrote this. I got my adhd diagnosis relatively late in life but SO much of what you’ve shared here sounds like it could have come directly from my life. There is something much power in not feeling alone.
This made my entire year, Jennifer! Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m so glad you felt seen here. We got this!
You know I feel/hear/sense all of this. I am constantly exhausted by me, my thoughts, my piles. My notebooks (IYKYK). Failure to complete.
My husband says my calendar looks like a "serial killer's calendar"--all that mayhem and slashing.
I feel a bit of pain when I watch home videos of myself when I was young (bouncing and bobbing and never stopping). I feel the people pleasing to NO END, which my recent 12 day trip to see my extended family in California was as mentally taxing as any trip I've taken.
You're doing the work way earlier than I did (better late than never). I've been in therapy as well! We've been working on the (thoughtless) speed at which I do some things. An example: texting. I text faster than my brain (or the other way around). I have embarrassed myself so. many. times. Working on Slow. Is. Fast.
Love you Traci! Here in solidarity.
P.S. ADHD is also why we are SO hilarious.
Nina! You always make me smile, giggle and feel so seen. The home videos part hit me. I think that’s one of the hardest things about finally understanding ADHD as an adult - looking back at your younger self and realizing, “Oh… she wasn’t too much. She was trying SO hard.” And the people pleasing - YES. But damn you're right -- we provide the wildly creative fun around here! xx
This is so beautiful, and so generous of you to share.
💞💞💞 Thank you so much for reading, xx!
You are such a light and encouragement to everyone you interact with in this platform so I can only imagine what it feels like to have you in real in person life 🤍 Sending so much love and prayers to you, thank you for being honest 🫶🏻
This is so incredibly kind. 🥹 Thank you so much for reading and for your beautiful words.
I wish I could give you an enormous hug. I think you're an absolute champion, and your gracious, uplifting vibe has made my time here so much more fun (and I know that's true of SO many other people).
I'm so grateful this corner of the internet brought us together, and even more thankful for your kindness.
I had goosebumps reading this. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. So much resonated, and I wonder- would you share the steps you took to get the diagnosis? Fellow teacher and parent here really struggling with executive functioning.
Naila! Thank you soooo much for the kind words. I am going to send you a DM. xx
This was so incredibly honest and beautiful. I can absolutely relate to so much of what you said!!!
Therese! You KNOW that clarinet has seen some things. 😂 Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. An OG fan since day one! I'm so glad it helped. ❤️
Traci, this had me in tears. It's so hard when we know these things (re: self acceptance and self compassion) intellectually but can't *feel* them to make them true inside ourselves. Sending you so much love <3
Exactly. Thank you for reading, for seeing me, and for such a kind message. It truly means so much!
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing this ❤️ It made me tear up.
None of us are perfect and sometimes it can feel like everyone else has their sh** together.
Just remember: You are amazing!