gratitude shmatitude: outfits, shoppies, giggles & joy
5-4-3-2-1: outfits, gifts for me, gratitude, giggles & treats
Gratitude shmatitude.
It feels like a buzzword right now. Gratitude journaling, gratitude meditations, gratitude jars… you name it. Everywhere I look, the word pops up alongside a long list of obnoxiously great health benefits.
A few months ago my Four-Shirted-Husband™1 and I realized we were doing a pretty lousy job raising our kids to be appreciative of the things they have.
It all started when my kids began asking me to buy random non-essential things on Amazon. This isn’t too odd for a 10 and 8 year old, but it started to get out of hand. Then one of my kids said to me, “$100 isn’t a lot of money.” It stopped me in my tracks. Another one said, “I broke it, but it’s okay, we can just buy another one!”
I’M SORRY, WHAT!?
Cue a family meeting. No seriously, we all had to meet at the table that night after dinner. We started “family jobs” (chores) so the kids now earn their money and can spend it as they see fit.
It gives us the ability to say, “You can buy that video game, but it costs X dollars. That equals Y weeks of chores.” Basically, it gives them a real sense of the value of a dollar.2 We decided this worked for us, but every family finds their own groove—and that’s totally okay.
I never encourage people to do as I say or promote myself as some sort of moral savior. Regarding parenting and most things in life, I have literally no idea what I’m doing.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I asked my kids what they’re grateful for. Their answers: my PS5, my stuffies, my football, Nutella, and finally my family. That last one came only after they read our faces and realized they were not exactly earning an A+ on this secret assignment.
We spent today creating a gratitude paper chain to hang in our house. We cut strips of construction paper and made a paper loop chain filled with everything we’re grateful for. Everyone began with a verbal protest (Four-Shirted-Husband™ included) but ended up completely on a roll, filling out strip after strip with things that bring us joy.
I don’t think a paper chain is going to fix raising kids in an instant gratification, information-overload, materialistic world (heck, their mother writes a newsletter often about “stuff”), but it was a really fun exercise to do as a family.
With Thanksgiving days away and the overwhelm/thrill of Black Friday creeping in, I want this newsletter to be a blend of gratitude, shoppies, and some heartwarming moments.
P.S. - This WILL be too long for your inbox. Click “View entire message” at the bottom of this e-mail or read the entire post here.
What’s Inside: Here’s our gameplan for today’s post - a 5-4-3-2-1 countdown, you know the drill!
👗5 recent outfits
🎁4 gifts i’ll allow
🫶🏻3 gratitude moves
🛋️2 living room looks
🦃1 word cloud of thanks
🎀a surprise treat for you
Here are five outfits I actually wore last week.
Loved this entire look paired with the red flats. A denim Ralph Lauren shirt will never go out of style in my eyes & transitions beautifully through all the seasons.
This red cardigan is pretty soft (definitely not cashmere) and was quite comfortable. I just wore a white tank underneath to eliminate the possibility of itch. I love the way a buttoned-up cardigan looks with barrel jeans!
The J.Crew Piper boots have arrived and honestly I am so obsessed with them it’s honestly not healthy. Another big S/O to Madeline Nachbar for the find! I’m also absolutely loving these statement earrings for the holiday szn.
Another day another fake collar. There’s something about this green paired with that pop of light blue that really caught my eye while outfit planning. And you know the deal—boat shoes shall live on forever.
This was the week of the buttoned-up cardigan. I love how the grey plays with the brown belt and loafers in this look, and the grey socks give it an extra fun punch. I’m pretty sure this dark pair of Levi’s has been my most-worn denim as the weather cools down. They feel and look exactly the way I hoped.
If you are on a texting basis with me you know that in every conversation there is a high probability I will use one of the following gifs:
Randy Jackson, Yeah that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg. Used often anytime someone in my life asks me to do something minor or major.
Kris Jenner, This is a case for the FBI. Usually in reference to my notable sleuthing skills.
Ken Jeong, I’ll allow it. This was truly my quarantine mantra. I’m shocked the interweb didn’t somehow ban me from overuse.
Here are four dream gifts I would happily “allow” if anyone in my orbit is feeling generous or wins big on a scratch off. I would be incredibly “grateful” for any or all of the following:
DESIGNER CLUTCH - a girl can dream, right? I also saw it on Sogole Kane’s gift guide therefore it has to be legit.
FAUX FUR COAT - Because I can’t stop thinking about a grey hoodie under a fur coat. I blame Jordyn Sharfe and this post.
MARY JANES - I have searched high and low for a pair of Mary Janes I love with my whole heart. I keep coming back to these. I also love them as a lower-heeled version as well. (the patent version is on sale & I’m also big fan of the flat version)
CASHMERE SWEATER - If this sweater is good enough for Libby McCurrach and Hillary Kerr then it’s almost a crime for me to NOT have it. FYI: It’s men’s sizing.
⭐Bonus Can’t Go Wrong Gift: A diamond tennis bracelet!
It’s really hard to give advice on gratitude when you’d give yourself a C+ at the whole process. It’s even harder to instill it in your kids when you can’t accept a compliment without feeling like razorblades are attacking you.
My favorite clip that cracks me up is when Drew Barrymore interviewed Timothée Chalamet and Hugh Grant. Drew excitedly launches into a story about her gratitude journal and mentions that Timothée is a big journal guy.
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She then asks Hugh if he has a gratitude journal, and he replies without hesitation, “Don’t be absurd.” He goes on to share that he keeps a list of things he hates, including people who wear iPods (not AirPods) in their ears.
Sometimes I feel like Hugh Grant. My list of unreasonable and unwarranted peeves feels so loud: people sniffling, loud noises, slow walkers, planners, etc.
My goal is to find a middle ground between Drew’s toxic gratitude and Hugh’s hilarious disdain for just about everything.
Here are three things I am trying in order to live a more grateful(ish) life. Because when the science says it can lower anxiety, reduce stress, and fix my brain chemistry it’s worth a shot.
EXPRESS GRATITUDE 🫶🏻
Receiving genuine gratitude from someone has ridiculous health benefits. Now that I know that, I’m on a gratitude rampage. The key is it has to be real. It can’t just be me copying and pasting “I’m thankful for you” to my entire contact list and then never replying when they respond. I love writing genuine thank-you notes, and shocker, I’m best at expressing myself through writing.
REFLECT OR JOURNAL 📘
Apparently me listing the same three things in a notebook each night (dogs, family, house) isn’t effective. WAS MY GRATITUDE CHAIN ALL FOR NOTHING!? 🤣 I can’t be consistent at most things in life besides Substack, so taking time each night to write something down or mentally walk my brain through a moment of gratitude from the day has actually been meaningful.
The key is to really feel the appreciation. It’s not just about jotting down “thankful for legs.” Pause for a moment and think about how that gratitude actually touched your day. You can practice it once a day—while brushing your teeth or making breakfast! Lately, I’ve found myself noticing more tiny moments of gratitude throughout the day.
IDK about you, but I’m all about grid notebooks. I use this one for my brain dumps cognitive unloading and to scribble my gratitudes.
MEDITATION AROUND THE NATION 🧘🏻♀️
Is meditation the answer to all the world’s problems? Seems like… yes, yes it is. I don’t know if it’s a success or a failure that I often want to fall asleep during a meditation or vinyasa moment. But when I actually take a few minutes to meditate, it’s genuinely beneficial. Peloton has some really solid “gratitude meditations” and I’ve also used this app.
For Thanksgiving, my entire family and I huddle up at my sister’s house. We’re so lucky that at least one daughter (my sister) inherited my mom and grandma’s incredible cooking genes. I always joke about Thanksgiving style and say, “What are you wearing to the living room this year?”
Here are two living-room-ready looks. I tried to use pieces I wore this week, things I’ve worn recently, and things I already own.
COUCH COUTURE
A little holiday, a little serious. Either way, I’m wearing my most comfortable jeans with a touch of festive flair. There is absolutely no shame in unbuttoning the top button as you take your post-meal nappy. On these fancy holidays, I try to upgrade my usual Aquaphor-dependence routine with a bougie balm.
RUNWAY TO RECLINER
My sister and I have our fondest memories of Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ house, followed by literally passing out on the couch. When you get the sizing right on these cozy pants, they’re the perfect elevated version of a jammie day. Also, there is no better holiday eyeshadow than Urban Decay’s Moondust (shade: Space Cowboy), and I will die on that hill.
I reached out to a gazillion of your favorite writers here on Substack. I was shocked to receive over 60 responses. I don’t even know 60 people IRL. I asked them, “What are you thankful for?” and then I took their answers and created a word cloud.
The larger the words, the more people wrote the same thing on their survey. The smaller the words, the fewer people mentioned them. I loved seeing the heavy hitters (family, friends, health, coffee) and the niche choices (Benson Boone memes, NICU nurses 🥹, kindness from strangers, etc).
A HUGE thank you to all the incredible writers from literally all over the world who took the time to participate—you made this so special!
A quick little treat for you! Print out these note cards, fill it with all your appreciation, and let some folks know how thankful you are that they exist. Simply click the link to download your note card, & print.
Lastly, every time I log on to Substack, I feel grateful. Every time I hit publish, I’m grateful to share thoughts that have sat idle in my cobwebed brain for years. I’m grateful for my family who cheer on my wildest dreams, and for every email that tells me there’s a new subscriber, a comment, or a like.
To everyone who reads my work, even if it’s just one paragraph, one sentence, or one word—thank you.
Let’s Chat: What are you grateful for? What have you personally been thanked for lately? Are the Thanksgiving plans going out or staying in? And most importantly—WHAT ARE WE WEARING!?
With so much gratitude it hurts,
If this made you smile, tap the heart, re-stack, or share with a friend!
Follow along on Instagram: @rambling.in.style
If the spirit moves you, buy me a coffee and keep the fun going.
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For my new friends: My husband is known as the “Four-Shirted-Husband™” around here. He has four shirts and a lot of opinions.
They have a sense of *THEIR* dollars - clearly not mine — please see the Scholastic Book Fair Crisis of 2025.
As my son made his Christmas list he put a $160 Lego kit (!!!) on the top of the list. I said, well that could be the only thing you get and he looked at me in shock. "No," he said, "Grandma and Poppy can get me that and you can get me..." as he started writing again. We have a serious gratitude problem in our house! Thank you for this note on gratitude for my kids (and me!!)
I’m grateful for you, Traci! I love your blend of wisdom, honesty, humor, kindness, and kickass style!! Those buttoned up cardigans? My goodness so good. Also what are your family jobs? We need to start this with my crew!! Happy Thanksgiving!